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I need... something... Tuesday, January 31, 2006 |

I'm not exactly sure what a "rut" is, but I think I may be in one. I have a good feeling about this book, I really do; but for some reason, I can't bring myself to write it. The past few days, for me, have been spent sitting around waiting for that inspirational moment where you go: "Oh my God! That's it, this is going to be brilliant. I can't get over how smart/creative/effing brilliant I am." Well... let's just say I haven't had one of those. Ever. I don't know what my problem is. When I sit down to write, I generally feel really good about what I'm doing. I think my major charactors are becoming more and more defined (which I was worried about,) and the story, while I still don't have it all worked out, is coming along. Yet, here I sit, looking out the window hoping for the moment mentioned above. There must be something wrong with me.

I brainstormed a bit last night, just to see what happened when I sat down with a notebook and pen. I always feel more creative with a pen in my hand. Sadly, that's not the most productive way to write a book anymore, so I need to leave those moments to brainstorming. And it helped. I made myself notes and made myself reminders of things I knew I would forget. I tend to get so excited about the story, that I forget huge details because I assume the reader will already know this. (This goes back to a post from a week or so ago.) So I had to remind myself to add a description for things that are obvious to me. It was good, and I was hoping it would lead to a long day of writing today but instead I've not typed one creative word. Unless you think this might be creative... I have my doubts.

Maybe I need to join a writing group online, or something. Just to communicate with some people who are also "rutting" it these days. I don't know. I found some new creativity exercises today that I'm hoping will help me out. My issue with this is, when I wasn't writing, I had ideas leaking out of my ears. Now that I have somewhere that those ideas should go to, there is no such leak. Humph. <-- Interesting sound effect, no?

OK, I'm going to go try to be creative. Maybe I'll meditate or something. It just might work.

As always, comments can be sent straight to me at: racechick@bellsouth.net

Have a good (and creative) day everybody.

Making it all make sense... Saturday, January 28, 2006 |

Well first off, I should let you all know that my proverbial black cloud has lifted a bit since yesterday. I was just getting nothing on any level yesterday, whether it was ideas, creativity, luck... whatever it was, I didn't have any. I'm better today though. I have just spent the last few hours locked up with my computer and I got some pretty interesting results. A good number of pages were written, and I've gotten through one of the many, many tough parts in the book that I know will have me looking for a bridge to jump off of.

With that said, I still have a lot to go. I still have the problem of not understanding that this is my first draft of this book. Some chapters won't look anything like what I have now, when I'm done. Hell, some chapters may not even exist. Who knows? Right now, I just need to let the story flow and worry about all of that other stuff later. I've had to refer back to my notes a few times today, which is funny when you spend an hour working on a certain part of a book and then you think, "Where was I going with this?" That's why I'm glad I planned a lot before I started. I think it has, and will continue to help me while I'm writing this thing.

I also came to the decision yesterday that I'm going to write another first chapter. I'm going to keep the one I have now, but it will now become chapter two. I want something that really grabs the reader's attention. Something that they will have to wait a while to understand, but that will be so good they can't help but read until they get there.

I saw an interesting article yesterday written by David Brin, who has written many, many books. In it he said that, as a writer, you want people to show up to work tired and looking a mess because they just couldn't put your book down. (It wasn't exactly in those works, but you get what I'm saying. No? OK, read the article here.) It dawned on me then, that that is exactly what I want, because I am that person. When I read good books, I don't put them down, so I show up to whatever I have to do the next day, a mess. And all I can think about is getting back to that damn book. That's what I want.

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me today. As usual, comments should be sent to me at racechick@bellsouth.net

Take it easy everybody.

And the hits just keep on coming... Friday, January 27, 2006 |

I'm having a really, really crappy day today. I mean, it's hitting the red line and then exploding on the crap-o-meter. Bad, bad, bad. I don't even think watching Oprah could bring me out of this funk, I'm still harboring issues with her for the whole James Frey thing.

The pressure to write a good book is multipying by the day. It needs to be good, really good. You know, the scariest thing about taking on a project like this is that, I want it so badly. The dissapointment of it being horrible lies on no one but me, and will probably only devastate no one but me. The thought of going and hiding under the covers has hit me about 1,000 times today. It's still an option, but I think the thing that would make this day better, more productive, would be for me to get my ass at my desk and work on this book. To make it amazing. It's funny, I feel like I can do it, I really do. It's just my self-doubt that is making me wonder if I will do it. I'm my father's child, I know that self-doubt comes with the territory, I just wish it wouldn't kick my ass so much.

OK, I'm off to make this book spectacular. Wish me luck.

As always, send comments to me at racechick@bellsouth.net

Have a better day than me!

Well, I'll never write a non-fiction... Thursday, January 26, 2006 |

I'm all for freedom of speech, I live in a free country. A country that, with all of it's amazing attributes, is full of half-truths. People don't always tell the whole story. A few presidents haven't even managed to tell the truth. Maybe they didn't lie to Oprah.

I sat through one of the more uncomfortable hours of my life today, watching James Frey take knocks on the chin from the most powerful woman in the country... Oprah. She called him a liar for his telling, of his story, about a certain point in his life. Why argue with that? Granted if a book is pushed as a true story, you expect it to be true, but Oprah took it personally. I'm sure that other books of this type have been full of exagerations, but since Oprah got her hands on it, she took it out on James Frey. Oprah waxed religious on this book, that's not Frey's fault. He never claimed it was a book to base your life on. It was his book, that's all.

Add to all of that, this guy is a recovering addict. Oprah would feel like a piece of shit if this guy harmed himself because she needed to recover her huge, allbeit, bruised ego. That's on her, I suppose.

I have sympathy for any writer, anyone, who not only put a few years of their life into a book, but actually write about their life in such a brutal way (exagerated or not), and then get dragged across the coals for it. It's a real shame this happened. The blame for it not only falls on Frey, but on Oprah and that horrid operation called the Smoking Gun that makes it their job to destroy people. Shame on them.

I have nothing in me that wants to read this book, only because it's just not my thing, I'd rather not be depressed for a week after reading a book. I may just go buy it anyway.

On a much lighter note: I've been working so hard on the template for this place I haven't written anything in days. I'll get back to the keyboard tomorrow. How do you like the place?

Send your comments straight to the source (me!) at racechick@bellsouth.net

Have a good day everybody. Keep your head up J.F.

I write books and like long walks on the beach... Tuesday, January 24, 2006 |

So now that I'm writing, I've been thinking more about how I'm going to go about getting an agent. I'm one of those people that, before they do anything, learns everything they can about what they are about to do. So most of today has been spent reading "How To Get a Literary Agent," articles. They've been really helpful. Some have been inspiring, some sobering, most though, just gave me the feeling that, while this is hard, it's not impossible. Which is nice. I like hard work, so I'm good with it.

I'm also preparing myself for rejection while I'm writing this book. Rejection is one of those issues for me that I've been fighting with... well since I was old enough to know what it meant. We'll just leave it as a Daddy issue. So, I'm just preparing myself for the letters from agents that say, "You have no talent, you loser," or "This is crap, go sell phone books," or anything like that, really. I'm a realist, so I know I'm going to be rejected more times than I will be begged for my entire manuscript. Got it. I'm totally prepared... I think. Well, at least I have time to work on it, because I'm nowhere near to being done with this book. I also know that if I get rejected a lot, I will know that I need to work on the book more. I'm not going to give up on this until I know I've exhausted all of my options. I've been wanting this for too long to just give up.

It's funny but it's already become a love/hate relationship between me and my book. Sometimes I suck, sometimes it sucks but by the end of the day, I feel like we're getting somewhere. Some nights I think that I'd rather jump off a bridge than write this book, others I like it. I call this "The Process." I love "The Process," I really do. Call me crazy, you wouldn't be the first, trust me.

Anyway, that's where I am today. I have some other things to do before I settle in at the computer, for hopefully a good few hours. That's really been my big problem, I haven't had time to just sit and write for hours and hours at a time. I feel like I write better at night, but I like being up during the day. It's a vicious cicle, I tell ya. I wouldn't have it any other way though.

By the way, there are going to be some big changes around this blog soon. This template is just horrible (when it shows up), it looks way too tortured for my taste. I should have something better going on here in the next few days, so hang with me.

Have a good day everybody.

Two chapters down... Wednesday, January 18, 2006 |

So... I started writing yesterday! It may seem stupid and some of you might be sitting there thinking, "Well, your writing a book, so writing would be a part of that..." but listen: I planned this mother out for about three months. I was ready, and I did it. I realize already how hard it is to explain things to someone who hasn't been in your head for the last three months. As a writer, for me anyway, it just seems like people should know already, after all, they've been living in this world for a while too, right? Yeah, not so much. So breaking things down has been a challenge but I good one, and one that I know I'm really going to enjoy. I like details, so it will work out for me.

I know there are still some details that I need to work out, but I think I'm going to try to let that flow and see what happens. I'm sure editing will take care of most of it anyway, but that is sooo far down the road, that I'm not even letting my mind go there right now.

So anyway, not much else going on with me right now. The college that I was trying to sign up for classes with tried to rip me off, that's always fun. I have to get some e-mailing done now, to make sure I don't get stuck with a $2,000 bill for classes that I didn't even take. Just when you think your trying to further your education...

Have a good day guys.

I just want to write... Monday, January 16, 2006 |

I'm getting really excited about writing. I mean really excited. I had a why-am-I-still-planning-when-I-could-be-writing kind of day today. Which in all reality, there isn't much stopping me from starting now. I could get a good part written before I hit a spot where more research should be done. I even came up with a plan for more books today, if this one goes well. Who the hell knows? I just want to sit and start this thing already, which in all honestly, is what I've been hoping for. For a while I was really scared to start writing because it's such a big thing for me. This is serious, you know? So I was hoping that in all of my planning, I would just start itching to write, to get this thing started and I'm there now. I may even start tomorrow. Wow.

Today I just got some basic brainstorming done, thinking of things to add in and what might not make the book. I'm not really sure, but I'm glad I did all of this planning, instead of jumping right in. It gave me an opportunity to really think about this book, and how I can make it good. Which is something I hadn't done before. I've started another book and have about 120 pages typed but kind of let that go. I just didn't know where to go with it. That, my friends, is where all the planning comes in. I'm excited, I apoligize for the blabbing, but I have to get it out somewhere. God knows I can't talk to many other people about it.

So anyway, that's where I'm at. Trust me that you all will be the first to know if I start writing tomorrow. There may be a party... I don't know.

Y'all have a good night.

So, I guess it's OK... Saturday, January 14, 2006 |

Well, my wonderful shopping/movie day on Friday turned into the haul-ass-to-the-car-before-the-rain-carries-you-away day. The weather man said it was going to be close to 70 and sunny, it turned out to be around 60 and raining like nobody's business. I still got some shopping done though and saw a movie. Before I get into the movie, I just want to vent about my search for a good book to read.

I think I mentioned the great book I was reading last week by an author from here in North Carolina. Yeah well, I read fast and since I finished that book, it's been all down hill. I can't find a good book to save my life. I just want something enjoyable and light, nothing I really have to think about. I'm thinking about one book enough as it is. So anyway, suggestions can be sent to racechick@bellsouth.net.

Now about the movie. I finally gave in and went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Honestly, it could have been better. I was never excited to see the movie, but I thought that once I got in the theater I would be surprised with how great the story was. Not so. I thought the story was weak, granted, I know the book was probably a million times better but I wasn't impressed. Although, while in the movie, I had a good amount of time to devote to thinking of ideas for my book, which I did. I have a good twist that will come out later in the story. I can't wait to write it.

While watching the movie though, another good thing came to me. Mainly, my nerves were calmed by the fact that some of the things in this movie (and I'm assuming the book, as well) were very close to some of the things in the Harry Potter books. For instance, the presence of a Phoenix, Centuars and other magical charactors that carried over from C.S. Lewis' books, to J.K. Rowlings books. Granted, I doubt I'll use any of those creatures, but it's nice to know that while stories can have creatures (and magic) in common, they can differ and be excepted so easily. It's comforting to think that people can appreciate different stories based around the same world, I guess. Anyway, it helped me a lot. Because like I said before, I'm not trying to re-write anyone's story, I've put in too much work to do that.

Anyway, now there is just football to look forward to for the rest of the weekend. Go Panthers!

Have a good day guys. ::Happy Birthday Meme::

What section am I in? Thursday, January 12, 2006 |

So reality hit me yesterday while standing in the library. I'm writing a book, which means that it once it's published (because it will be) my book will be in the library. Now, any book nerd, like myself would know that this is a huge deal. Or to me it is. I'm sure every aspiring writer has always walked through a book store and thought, "I can't wait to see my book in here." But a library? That's a big deal for me. I'm not sure why really, but it is.

While I was searching the garden section for ideas on herbs, I thought of all this. Then I realized how funny I must have looked looking through the garden section, then the section with books with magical or astrological titles. I'm sure they thought I was up to no good at check out, but whatever, I got some good ideas from those books.

I haven't gotten much work done today because I've been out doing random things and I'm planning on a pretty big shopping and movie day tomorrow, so I'm not sure how it's all going to work out. I might try to get some stuff done tonight before I go to bed. I don't know. What I do know is that I should be good and ready to write in a week or so, if I don't get hung up on some facts, that I can already envision myself getting hung up on. Oh well, it's better than sitting at a desk punching numbers right? Right.

Have a good day guys.

I have to do what? Monday, January 09, 2006 |

So I didn't do any book planning today. But yesterday, well let's just say yesterday I got a lot of things done, and found out some other things that still need to be done before I officially start writing. There are just so many things that need to be thought about before I can dive into this thing, even though lately, I've been finding myself just wanting to start writing, to go in head first, but I don't want to get in a situation where I'm writing and I have a good flow going and then BANG. I hit a place that needed facts, or something that I don't have, and then I have to stop. I think that would really mess up the flow. Although, I think I will be writing soon. Maybe even in a few weeks.

It's kind of scary, really, to think about writing this, because I've been working on planning it for a while now and it's importance has been building since day one. I have a lot invested in this, ya know? This is the basket that a good half of my eggs are in, which doesn't seem like a lot, but trust me, it is.

So I think I'm going to go get some things done now with this book. It's been beautiful outside, add to that, that testing for the Daytona 500 started today and I really haven't had a chance to sit down with my notebooks to get anything down. I have some ideas I need to get down now though.

By the way, I'm going to have a new template up here soon, this one has too many kinks for my liking. I should have it looking good around here in the next few days.

Have a good day everybody. Congrats Panthers! Two to go!

No writing day... Saturday, January 07, 2006 |

Today is my No Writing Day. I didn't get a lot done yesterday, just a few pages of planning (I can normally do about 5 front and back.) That's the awesome and tedious thing about magic, you can do whatever you want, but when you want to do whatever, you have to make it make sense. Thus the planning, but it's cool. I like being able to make stuff up and if anyone questions it I can just say: "Hey man, it's magic" and they will have to leave me alone. There's not much of an arguement there.

I think I might go to the movies tonight, see what someone else created. I actually started reading a new book last night by a woman who is from Chapel Hill, NC. A lot of great authors have come out of NC, like Nicholas Sparks, who is one of my favorites. Anyway, if was nice to read something else besides my own stuff. I think it's a good escape to read other people's ideas. Plus, you never know when you are going to get inspiration, it could come from TV, a movie, or another book. It's sounds stupid but how other people view human interaction and relationships is really interesting. Think about that the next time you watch TV. It's really cool.

So anyway, as long as no major, major inspiration (inspirado, as I call it) hits me, it's a No Writing Day, but you never know. I'll get back to it tomorrow.

Y'all have a good weekend. Go Panthers!

I love Harry Potter but this isn't it... Friday, January 06, 2006 |

I'm getting tired of taking up for this book already, and I'm not even writing it yet! I'm not writing a Harry Potter book! Literally, what would make people so stupid as to think that A) I would be stupid enough to try and write about a boy wizard who's parents died, and who now needs to fight the guy who killed them (it's been done) B) That just because I read and enjoy Harry Potter books that that alone would make me write a book just like it or C) That there can't be more than one godforsaken wizard, witch or wizarding school for that matter, in the whole entire world.

Yes, I'm writing about the magical world, which believe it or not, exists in more places than England, France or Bulgaria. It's fiction, so let's say that if there are schools in those countries, would there not be one in America? And if there was, couldn't a good story come out of there too? Like I said, I'm not writing about a boy who's parents were killed, I'm writing about someone else who has nothing to do with anyone named Harry.

I'm sure that when (staying positive and not saying if) I get this book published, I'll face a lot more of this kind of stuff and I'm good with that. It's just hard not to have the wind knocked out of you when your trying to put ideas together and people are assuming your just copying off of someone else.

What's troubling me is that I really don't want to copy the Potter books but it's hard to separate certain magic that has to exist in the world I'm writing about too. Do you get what I'm saying? Like, for instance if my charactors are operating in the same world that JK Rowling's charactors are, then we may have some of the same magical creatures. Now I would never use one of her names for these creatures (Americans use different terms for things anyway) but they have to exist, right? As long as they could survive in America. There are some things that wouldn't be in America, just because it's a different country. Get it? It's rough, trust me. I'm trying with all of my might not to copy anything from those books but some of it seems essential.

I just don't want those books to have an influence on my book either way. Like I surely don't want to seem like I'm copying from JK Rowling but I also don't want the books she wrote (no matter how popular) to hinder me because I'm trying to avoid any simularities. Whew. See what I mean?

Basically, what I'm saying is: I love JK Rowlings books, love them, but I just don't want to rewrite them. They inspire me to write, but they don't inspire me to copy from them. Follow me? Yeah... me either.

Have a good day guys.

Going with the flow... Thursday, January 05, 2006 |

I realized yesterday that I may be inhibiting my creativity a little bit. See, I went to college and got a communications degree and while I want nothing to do with any job in the communications field, I was around a lot of cool, creative people and they taught me a lot about being creative. I even have creativity exercises. Not jumping jacks or anything but just a little something that gets creativity flowing. The thing is: I'm also a big list maker. I like to plan certain things out, (but only certain things, I've been known to freak out in really structured settings) so I knew going into this book project that I wanted to have everything about the world they are going to be living in documented. I read that JK Rowling did it, and well, it worked for her. But I'm not doing it because she did, it's really just a smart thing to do. If you know your charactors and the area before you start writing, few mistakes will be made. I'll never say someone's hair is this color, when 1o chapters before it, I said it was another. It just makes sense.

I just think I went overboard a bit and got carried away with having things on paper. I think it stifled my ideas a little bit. So yesterday I just stared out a window for awhile and let some scenes play out in my head. I think it cleared up a lot of the monotonous planning that I had done. I just need to let it flow.

Things went a lot smoother today, as where yesterday I was looking for a bridge to jump off of, I got a lot taken care of today. I'm not done yet either, but I'm a big believer in breaks. At some point, if you think too hard, ideas become forced and I think the unnaturalness (word? not a word?) will come out in your writing if something is too forced. You know how funny things can become obviuos, too funny even. Well, I don't want that happening to me.

It really helps that the weather has been FANTASTIC here in NC. It's been in the 60's and sunny, which not only helps with one's mood but with their motivation. Mainly mine, I'm a bit (OK, more than a bit) of a procrastinator, so any added motivation helps.

On the normal-life side of things, I bought a lot of cool thrift store stuff for a friend who moved to Alabama yesterday. I like doing stuff like that, just so when she walks by the stuff she can think, "Hey Brandy gave that to me." Call it self-centered but maybe thinking of her best friend will make her feel at-home in a new place. It's worth a try... now if she would just call me.

Anyway, have a great day everybody.

If I could just be like them... Tuesday, January 03, 2006 |

So, I need a laptop... bad. I figure if anything is going to get done on this book, writing-wise, I need to be able to sit on a couch or my bed, or a little cafe outside when it gets nice outside. Not on a hard chair hooked to this big hunk of a computer. I've been searching for a laptop for a few months now, ever since I got the idea for the book in my head and now I just need the money. I'm thinking it's going to take 2 to 3 months, which in the grand scheme of things, isn't so bad. Once I'm done planning, I can start writing on the desktop until I get the laptop, not so bad. Plus, my mom has promised me a comfortable office chair for the time being. She's really been great about all of my ideas and projects.

My mom is honestly, the only person that has said, "Do it." I think that stems from the fact that she had my older sister when she was 19 and really never had the chance to chase the dreams she had, and she wants me to have my chance. I appreciate that more than she knows. I swear she's the only person who doesn't think I'm nuts for not settling down and getting the dreaded "real job." If I had a freaking nickle for everytime I heard that term.

And the thing is, it would be SOO much easier to just settle in and get a job at a desk from 9-5 that would pay me salary and I would wear a business suit... stuff like that. Aside from the dread, depression and probably hives from the suit, I could do it. But that's just not me, it's not the way I'm programed. I've never once in my life, even when I was little, wanted to have a 9-5. First, I wanted to be a lawyer (first real job I ever wanted) but I only wanted to do that so I could have a high profile case like the OJ Simpson case. I swore when I was 10 that A) He was innocent and B) That I could have gotten him off too. You'll still find me watching Court TV from time to time. Then I wanted to be a writer, that followed me to my ghetto days in middle school of wanting to be a rap music producer (I'm not even kidding, I wanted to work with Puff Daddy.) Then I found racing and now I uncovered the thing that got buried under everything, which is I still, very much so, want to write.

Whew. I was a busy kid to say the least. I still, at 21, think that if I trained hard enough I could be an olympic swimmer and an olympic snowboarder. I'm just weird, although, realistically I know I couldn't, I'm still going to learn how to snowboard this year.

So yeah, the talking from my family would stop if I was just like them, but I would be miserable. I'm taking the long road, the road less traveled, the cooler, more cultured road and damnit, I like it.