Mood: Good. I'm feeling pretty ambitious today.

What I'm Listening To Right Now: "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake

First off, how great is Justin Timberlake? I actually sat through most of TRL yesterday to watch the premiere of his new video. I felt 14 all over again, and I have to tell you, it was phenomenal. Both the video and feeling giddy that Justin has a new CD coming out. Some things will never change...

Anyway, I've been writing a lot more lately, and steadily becoming more nervous about sending out query letters to agents. Damn that fear of rejection! I know it's going to happen though. It's just time to lock it up and do it. Well, when the book's done anyway.

Now that I've figured out that if I write 3,000 words a day, I can be done in 17 days, I've been more motivated to write. I've even thought about putting myself on a self-implemented deadline, just to see how I work with them. It's just something I'm thinking about, but right now I have myself on the lose deadline of being done by August 20-ish. That gives me a little less than a month, for work that should only take 17 days. I'm probably taking it too easy on myself, but I need babysteps!

I had my first experience with writing a scene yesterday and then realizing that I had Dani, my character, do something that I new deep down she wouldn't do. It wasn't anything earth shattering, but just a small scene where she did something out of character. So I'm pretty sure I'll be re-writing that today, since her stepping out of character really did nothing to further the story. I can fit the point that I wanted it to make somewhere else.

I can't even begin to tell you all how nervous I'm getting now that the end is in sight. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm pretty sure it's a train speeding at me at about 110mph. Aghhh!

I'll be fine... I think. Well, I'm pretty sure anyway. I mean, I'll be a fine as an already crazy person can be, you know?

Have a good day guys!

Mood: Feeling pretty lazy...

What I'm Listening to Right Now: "Invisible" by Ashlee Simpson

Just a small update on Shanna Swendson, who is making me feel like a complete loser for writing so fast that it makes me feel completely inadequate... She'll be finishing the first draft of her book today. I know, I can't believe it either. She has literally started and finished a book in the time I've written about three chapters or so. I know this is my first book, and I also realize that I've been kind of lazy about writing in the past few weeks, but good lord. I am not worthy.

Although, I've got to tell you, I know that I can probably finish my book pretty fast if I could just stop being such a dork about it. I figured the other day that if I write around 3,000 words a day, for seventeen days straight, I'll be done with my book. You would think that would be enough motivation for me to write my rear-end off but not so. I'm just that much of a slacker.

And to be honest, that kind of scares me. I mean, after I get this draft done, all I have to do is go back and change some things and really make sure it's right and then I need to start sending it off to agent. Agents!! I know!

The thing is, I've fully prepared myself for rejection, because even though I'm confident in my book and my story, I know some people won't like it and will reject me. I've got that in my head, but I'm still not sure how I will deal with it when it actually happens.

All I have to say is that this blog will get really interesting sometime in the fall. Eeek!

Have a great day everybody.

Mood: I'm feeling good, but I need to be more productive

What I'm Listening To Right Now: "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath

So... I'm halfway done! Yeah, I just had to mention that again, just in case you didn't see it in the subject line.

Actually, if I'm being honest, in the crazy/messy/scattered place that I call my head, I'm not halfway done. But according to my new, fancy word counter, I am. Which is cool, because if I hadn't gotten off track, (again!) then I would probably be at the point where half of the things I planned on happening, would have happened.

But they didn't because things just keep popping up. I swear, you'd think the characters were writing this book and not me. I'm totally not in the driver's seat anymore, really. They've taken over! haha.

I wrote a couple thousand words the other day, which sounds impressive, but it's so not. I should be writing a lot more than that. I didn't write at all yesterday and up to this point, I haven't written anything today either. Although, I do plan to take a break from the computer, (which I've been on ALL DAY) and then I'll come back and write, what will hopefully be, the rest of chapter 21.

I think chapter 21 will soon become The Other Chapter That Almost Killed Me. Do you remember the first CTAKM?? I do, and it wasn't pretty.

Anyway, I should go take that break now, so I can get back and get writing.

Have a good day everybody!

Mood: Good, I've been productive today, so you can always count on me being happy about that.

What I'm Listening to Right Now: "How to Save a Life" by The Fray (Again, I know. I'm hooked on this song right now.)

You know what happened? I got on here at the end of last week and bragged that I had written a lot that week and I felt good about it. It all went downhill after that. I did NO writing this weekend, although I did spend an hour or so on Sunday planning out some stuff that's way, way down the road. (I'm talking book 2 or 3. Call it jumping the gun if you want, but I at least needed to have it written down.)

So now here I am, on Monday afternoon... Okay evening, and I haven't written anything yet. I have however, run errands, gotten a lot of online stuff done and worked out; so I did get some things done.

Now, I'm just staring around the apartment wondering when, in between writing some of, (but not all, because it's HUGE) chapter 21, and eating and breathing, that I'm going to be able to clean. It'll happen. I know it will. It always does. Say it with me people: It's Going To Happen!

There, I feel better.

Now I just have to get my head back into the book. This always happens after the weekend, when I tend not to write as much, I sit and think for a second, trying to remember what was going on when I stopped writing last. I got my notes out and read over them, now I'm ready to go.

I should do that now, while I have the motivation.

Hey, did you guys see my fancy new Word Counter over to the left? Isn't it cool? I saw that another writer, (her name escapes me, right now) that had it for all of her projects and I thought it was really cool. So I totally copied. I'll give her credit though... As soon as I remember her name.

Okay, I need to write now.

Have a great day everybody.

Mood: Good but tired.

What I'm Listening To Right Now: "How To Save a Life" by The Fray

I really do have the greatest friends. One of which is an online friend, and who also likes to sit around and plan things that will someday helps us take over the world. And the other, who I've been friends with since I was eleven, likes to yell at me, in a very productive way, when I start doubting my writing abilities. Today, she literally spent five minutes yelling that JK Rowling was a nobody at one point too, and that I shouldn't underestimate myself just because I'm not writing as fast as I think I should be. She also called herself my "crutch" but she doesn't mean it in a bad way. She tells me that so I don't forget that I have someone to lean on, and I appreciate it probably more than she knows.

Anyway, enough about my awesome friends.

So I've been writing a lot more lately, and I think I can credit that to the author I talked about in my last post, Shanna Swendson. Just an update; she's about half way done with her book now. And no I'm not kidding. Personally, I think she's a machine that was sent to earth to torture/inspire me. Seriously, she even threw in her last blog that, even with all of the writing she's getting done, she's managed to work out more too. Great... Just great.

I really like her though, and I admire how fast she can get things done. She talks about her time management a lot, which is totally admirable, because I have none. Zero. For instance, I got really into a book I was reading last night and didn't go to sleep until about 5am. Of course, I didn't realize it was 5am until I looked up from the book and screamed when I saw the clock, but still. That kept me from getting up early today and getting things done; although, I do find that if I'm mad at myself for sleeping in, I get more done. Maybe that's my key to time management. I'll call it the Oh-My-Gosh-I-Suck-So-Bad-and-Slept-In-Late-Again-because-I-Read-Too-Much-Time-Management Plan.

Oprah will be calling for an interview about it any minute now... I just know it.

Have a great day everybody!

Mood: A little perplexed, and feeling a lot lazy...

What I'm Listening To Right Now: Again, nothing. The TV is on, but I've been doing other things.

Okay, so first things first, I just thought I should let you all know that in the last week I have become obsessed with Super Heros. I know, I know, I talked about this in my last blog, but to update everyone, I've watched a show about the Ultimate Top 20 Super Heros twice, and would watch it again in a heart beat.

I even watched Batman Returns for the second time today, just because.

And, to add to all of that, I just spent the last hour or so watching a behind the scenes video blog of Brian Singer, the director of Superman Returns. I'm one of those people who like to know why and how things get done, so to see that they actually grew the corn for the Kent farm, and to also see all of the work that the lovely Brandon Routh had to do in a harness, was phenomenal.

It was really interesting, and kind of nice to see how much changed from what he had planned to what happened in the movie, considering I've changed a lot in my story since the beginning too.

Watching all of this stuff is basically for all of the reasons I talked about in my last post, so I won't get into it. But I will admit that I have a problem; but I hear that the first step to curing a problem is admitting you have one.

On a different topic, I just read a blog of a writer named Shanna Swendson, and she just started writing the fourth book in the series she's been writing, two weeks ago... And she's a fourth of the way through the book. WHAT?!?! I've been writing since March and I'm only almost half way done!

Obviously something is internally wrong with me.

How can I be so slow? And of course, then, all of my writer-self-doubt creeps in. What if I'm put on a four month deadline for a book? What do I say, "I'm sorry Big Publisher Man/Woman, but I need a little more time because I'm slower than honey going up a hill in January."

That's great, huh?

Okay, I'm done freaking out now. I just need to write more, and write faster... That's all. No biggie... right?

Have a great night everybody.