Mood: I'm in a really good mood, you'll know why in a second...

What I'm Listening To: Nothing. The TV is on but I'm not really watching.

So, I've been thinking about this for a long time now, and I've refrained from posting it because, for my whole life, I've been told that I dream too big. That I should just get another degree, (which I am) and get a "real" job. And recently I've decided that I'm going to stop apologizing for dreaming big.

There is nothing shameful about not wanting to be ordinary, and I'm not going to feel that way anymore.

Part of what brought this on is that I went to the movies today and saw Superman Returns, and before I get into anything else, let me tell you now to go see that movie. It's fantastic!

Now, back to what I was saying.

Lately, I've become semi-obsessed with superheros. It's not really about their looks or powers, but more about their issues, because let's face it, all hero's have issues. It's also about what makes them tick. What makes someone want to dedicate their lives to saving others? And how does one deal with that responsibility? Also, how does one deal with the fact that they alone, are the most powerful people they know? Things like that. And I think it all comes back to my book, because I'm writing about someone with powers too.

The girl in my book, Dani, (along with many others) has powers, so I guess that getting in these guys heads helps me think about what's going on in Dani's. Although, I think I've had that pretty much nailed down from the get-go.

Here's what I've really been thinking about though. What if someone had told, (and maybe they did, I'm not sure) the creators of these amazing hero's, that they should just get a degree and get a "real" job? I know one thing, I wouldn't know who Brandon Routh is, and that's just not acceptable! haha.

All jokes aside though. It would be a world void of hero's, and that's not good.

So, do you wanna know my big dreams? I want to have my book published, and then I want to write the next three books that follow this first one; since I already have them planned out.

I also think it would be cool to have a movie made of my books, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Oh but when I do, it's going to have theme music like Superman. Not just like his, but the kind of music that when you hear it, it makes you smile and feel that emotion, or what ever it is, in the pit of your stomach, knowing that you're going to see, or have just seen something special.

I want that, and I'm not going to be ashamed of it anymore.

Have a great day.

Mood: As chipper as can be expected on little sleep and a rebellious computer.

What I'm Listening To Right Now: TV coverage of the rain delay at Wimbledon.

Okay, so I realize that the middle being in sight is not nearly as dramatic or sensational as the end being in sight, but for me, it's a big deal. I've always felt that after reaching the middle of the book things would really start rolling, and I still feel that way.

I have about a chapter and a half to write until I'm at my all-important midway point, and I think that the story can pretty much flow on it's own until I get the the last few chapters, which no doubt will be hard, emotional and exhausting... and I can't wait!

In other news, I'm recovering nicely from all of the car drama from last week, and I got up early to start a productive day of running around like a crazy. Sounds great, huh?

Add to all of this, one of the best months in sports is about to start, and really in my mind, it already has with today being the opening day of the Tennis Grand Slam, Wimbledon.

Next week the Tour De France starts, as well as my favorite race of the season, the July Daytona race. And then there's the MLB AllStar game as well. What more could a sports fan ask for? Football, maybe. But that's just a few months away.

Alrightly, well that's enough for me today. I have a lot of work to get done and a Grand Slam to watch. Busy, busy, busy.

Have a great day everybody.

Mood: Good, I'm up early and feeling productive.

What I'm Listening To Right Now: "Love and Memories" by O.A.R.

Well, once again I had my butt kicked by a chapter, and while I should be upset about it, I'm not. Chapter 19 and I had a duel and I think it ended in a draw; I got fifteen pages out of it, and it promises major edits at a later date. All in all, I think that's all I can ask for, right?

Now it's on to the next chapter, which will open up big possibilities for all of my characters and lead me to my first big action scene! I can't wait. I have some cool ideas that, hopefully, will add something to the scenes and carry through the rest of the book, and who knows, maybe even beyond.

In non-book news, I had a little drama this week that included my car dying in a parking lot, leaving me stranded with a out-of-date Triple A account. So thanks to Ryan (the nice guy who tried to jump the car, and then was nice enough to give us a ride home) and also to my mom's friend who let us use her Triple A account to get a jump the next day.

I was stressed, to say the least. See, I'm still driving my first car; my baby. My baby that, for all of it's short comings, I am so attached to that I couldn't sleep the night I had to leave it in the parking lot, all by itself. I felt like I had left my child sitting in the parking lot staring at me with misty eyes as I went home. Not cool.

Everything turned out okay in the end though; turns out it was just the battery and the rest of the car is fine! That's saying something since the car is a '93, huh? It's a champ, and I've made the conclusion that I will never get rid of my beloved car. Ever. I love it too much.

Alrighty, enough about my car, I have some other things to do today.

Have a great day everybody.

Mood: Tired, but trying to talk myself out of it; otherwise pretty good.

What I'm Listening To Right Now: "Kill" by 30 Seconds To Mars

I can't believe I haven't written on this blog in a week! Personally, I blame Ben Roethlisberger; he pretty much kept me from doing anything the first few days of last week. There was no writing or working out, which I had been doing pretty good with, but I just couldn't stop worrying about him and would regularly stop what I was doing to check ESPNnews for any new developments. Then, by the end of the week, I just figured that I hadn't gotten anything done all week, why start then? So, now here I am, with only four pages written for last week and feeling frumpy from not working out. Not this week though! Nope. This week things are going to get done.

So I'm in another minor slump with the book these days, and I think it all traces back to the four pages I wrote and planned out last weekend. I'm so excited to get to some dramatic scenes toward the end of my notes, that I'm getting bored with what I have to write to get me there.

Then I get frustrated because I feel like I need to hurry up and get to the meat of the story, but I'm still trying to explain other things. I know it's all part of the process, but I'm generally not the most patient person in the world, so I'm doing the best I can.

My self doubt has squirmed it's way back into my day-to-day life this past week, and since my mom is the only person, right now, to read what I've written, she takes the brunt of it. At random times when we're hanging out, I'll turn to her and say, "Seriously, do you really think my book is good or are you just saying that because I'm your daughter? Because if you are, I should tell you, that's very damaging to me, since I'm trying to make a career of this whole book thing." Then, as usual, she rolls her eyes and says, "Brandy, I've told you a million times, if I would have picked up the book and didn't know who wrote it, I would love it, so shut up."

Or something like that. Poor thing. She can't wait until I start letting other people read it, and finally get a critique partner, which I've been looking for, unsuccessfully.

I think soon I'm going to go back and do some edits (such as re-writing the first few chapters) that I know I need to do before anyone else reads the book, so I can finally let someone else take a look at it. It's just that some things have changed since chapter one, and I haven't gone back to add those in the beginning of the book, so someone would be very lost if they read what I have now.

I've realized that I'm a confusing person... Do you all get that from me too? haha

Have a great day.

Mood: Okay. I just found out Ben Roethlisberger (Steelers QB) was in a motorcycle accident and the US team is losing big time in the Soccer World Cup... So I'm handling things the best I can.

What I'm Listening To Right Now: "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor

So, as you all may or may not know, I'm a huge sports fan. For instance, instead of doing the work that I should be doing, I've been surfing the net for information on Ben R. And watching the World Cup, and I'm patiently awaiting the beginning of Wimbeldon in the next few weeks. I love summertime; there is nothing better than summertime for a sports fan.

Anyway, that's not what this blog is about, is it?

I realized over the past few days that I make a habit out of getting off track with my book plot. I've had the main plot nailed down for about five months, but I stray a lot, which in a way, is nice because it makes it a multi-layered book, but I'm having to reel myself back in.

Yesterday I sat down and hand wrote about four pages, front and back, of notes for the next three chapters of the book, and I made a promise to myself that for NO REASON am I to stray off of those pages.

I have to get the story to progress or I'm going to have a 1,000 page book, and I'm not sure that will sell; so I have to get going.

I'm excited though, because some of the scenes that I've been talking about wanting to write are coming up in the next three chapters! I'm really happy about that because I've been wanting to test my, "action writing" which means I want to see how well I write an action scene and whether I can write it with really good suspense. I think I can, I think I can...

So that's all for me today. I have another blog I want to update, a football player to check on, and a US soccer loss to get over; oh and then I have to write a book. Whew.

Have a great day guys.

Mood: Feeling pretty good about things...

What I'm Listening To Right Now: "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Well, I had a less-than-stellar weekend, for personal reasons, not literary, but as you all have probably learned by now, if it affects my life in any way, I'll read it off. (Kind of like sweating out a fever.)

A bad weekend for me, translates into a weekend spent with my face in a book trying to avoid it all. So I feel better and I have on book from the library read with just four to go. Good stuff.

I wrote a pretty intense scene for the book on Friday and I felt so good about it I printed it out before I even finished the chapter so my mom could read it.

I was all pumped up until I saw her read it for a second time and look confused. I swept my crushed soul (okay, a little dramatic) off the floor and asked what the problem was.

She had a lot of "why?" questions that were totally okay for her to have. I didn't confuse her, it's just in the haste to let her read that scene, I didn't realize that she didn't have the next section there to help her understand why things happened the way the did.

Again, you guys are probably wondering what in the hell I'm talking about. Trust me when I say, you'd get it if you could read the book. Which hopefully, everyone will get that chance someday.

That's the plan anyway...

Have a good day guys.